The Passing of a Hero

I just want to say that I hit the jackpot with my in-laws. Rubin's family truly feels like my own family. I even have two brothers-in-law who tease me as they would a real sister. My sister-in-law Tara feels just like a sister to me too. As an added bonus, Tara married Chad, one of my friends from high school.

I met Chad my first year of high school when I joined the cross country team. The team was extremely small that year, so we were all pretty close friends. Chad was always laughing and joking around. And boy did he have a lot of energy! Our coach would have us go on a long run and Chad would want us all to climb fences or do other things along the way, just for fun. I remember feeling like my legs were made of lead during one particular run, but ahead of me, Chad was busy finding different obstacles to leap over while he was running. I'm pretty sure his boundless energy contributed to my exhaustion!

I also remember how determined he was. Our coach had us do this mental exercise where we would all stand in a circle, close our eyes, and be completely still while he said things to try to make us laugh or move. The last one who stood motionless won. You would think with Chad's love of fun and laughter that he would be the first one out, but that was not the case. In fact, I don't remember anyone but Chad winning that exercise. He was so focused when he put his mind to something.

Chad showing me the ropes of flying a Blackhawk helicopter.

Chad, Tara, Rubin, and I at the base in Alabama.

Chad joined the army before marrying Tara. After they got married, they were stationed in Alabama while he trained to be a Blackhawk helicopter pilot. Rubin and I took baby RJ on a trip to Alabama to visit them just after they had their first baby. We decided to take a driving trip to Louisiana with all six of us. Luckily Tara and Chad had a car with a front bench seat, so we could fit 3 in the front and 3 in the back. The two babies needed to be in the back seat and one of the adults had to sit between them. Chad volunteered for this spot and spent the trip entertaining the babies, replacing binkies, and alerting us when one needed a diaper change. He was so easy-going and didn't get tired of it at all!

On that same Alabama trip, we spent Thanksgiving with Tara and Chad. Rubin's mom and dad and his two brothers flew in as well. Rubin's family has this strange tradition of making Indian food (but not the American Indian variety!) instead of turkey for Thanksgiving. To make matters worse, Rubin was determined to cook up some alligator he purchased at the local Walmart! So, facing a Thanksgiving full of strange and exotic foods, Chad and I decided that, as the in-laws, we would just have to cook our own turkey. Neither of us had ever cooked a turkey on our own, so as I recall there were more than a few phone calls made to our mothers that day! But we worked together in Chad and Tara's small kitchen making mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and of course, the turkey. We were able to have our traditional Thanksgiving meal along with the Indian food and alligator stew.

Together for Thanksgiving in Alabama.

Twice Chad was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. During those times Tara would move to Utah until Chad's deployment was over. I was always happy and sad that Chad was deployed. I was sad for Tara because I knew how much she missed him, but selfishly it was fun to have a year where I saw Tara a lot. But I was always relieved to have Chad come home safe at the end of the year.

Chad was able to come home for 2 weeks during his deployments. During one of these, I enlisted his help with RJ's birthday party. I needed someone to run around with the piñata as soon as the candy started coming out and Chad was the perfect person for the job!

After his second deployment, Chad was diagnosed with leukemia. They moved their family out to Utah to get treatment. Just under a year later, Chad passed away on Sunday, September 1st.

Chad really was a hero, but not just for the obvious reasons. Yes, he was brave enough to join the army where he knew he would be deployed to a dangerous location multiple times. And yes, he kept an extremely cheerful and positive attitude despite having a terrible illness inside him. But I think the real reason he was a hero was because of the person he was everyday. He was kind, dependable, and energetic. He was also a good father, husband, and friend. I think his seemingly insignificant, day to day actions made him a hero just as much as the big ones did.

I pray for his wife, Tara, and their four children everyday. It feels like the world should have stopped, at least for a little while, after such a big loss, but it didn't. School still starts 5 days a week, soccer games are still played, and dinners have to be made. We will all miss Chad so very much, but we know he is anxiously engaged in a great work on the other side and we know someday we will see him again!

Goodbye for now Chad.