A Cat Named Daddy

My husband's work always has a group of stray cats milling about the building. One day as the kids and I were driving away after visiting the cats, Rubin James said, "I wish we could have a kitty."

"I do too," I said, "but Daddy's allergic so having one in the house would make him sick."

"So we can never have a cat?!"

"Nope. I'm sorry honey."

He thought for a minute then said in a quiet voice, "If Daddy died we could have a kitty." 

"Um, I guess that's true," I said warily. "But we would be so sad to not have Daddy that we probably wouldn't even want a cat."

"Well we know Daddy would be happy in heaven. Hey! I know, we could name the kitty Daddy!" he said triumphantly.

Maybe I should cool it a little on the heaven-is-the-best-place-ever lessons. Luckily, my husband is a good sport who just laughed when I told him about this little conversation!

Looking for those moments

Lately I’ve been a little discouraged about being a stay-at-home mom. Not that there is anything else I really wish I was doing (although I’ll have you know that I had a lot of potential as the editor-in-chief of the famous, or infamous Daily Universe!), but still sometimes the higher purpose of motherhood gets forgotten in the midst of the mundane.

So today, I decided to reread a talk I heard a few years ago about motherhood. It helped a lot. Jeffrey R. Holland said, “recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.”

I’m going to look for these “shining moments” more. Like today at lunch, Graham was sitting at the table, arms crossed tightly, refusing to eat because he was mad about something or other (I ask you, when is Graham NOT mad about something!). Instead of threats or time-outs I went over and put my face near his and started doing some silly faces. He tried valiantly to stay mad, but his lips were quivering with the effort of suppressing his smile. Finally he gave in and started laughing with me. We hugged and I said in a growly voice, “Now, eat that hot dog before I do!” It worked. It doesn’t always work that easily, but this time it worked. And I was glad to have that moment.

I think what I need to realize is not every second of every day is supposed to be super fun and rewarding. It’s just life to have a whole lot of frustrating and mundane moments in between the few wonderful, thought-provoking moments. In fact, we wouldn’t recognize the amazing moments if we didn’t have the not-so-amazing ones.

To show that I am serious about this I will now put the nagging thoughts of cleaning up the lunch dishes (yes, I know that lunch was two hours ago) and folding the laundry out of my head for a while. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Lego tower to build!

The Week of Weaning

Yes, it is past 3 a.m. and I am awake writing a blog. Is it because I am so dedicated to telling the incredible stories of being a mom that I will even forgo sleep to do so? Um . . . no.  It’s because I have decided this is the Week of Weaning! Uriah is now over a year old and while I love breastfeeding my babies, I am also very ready to be done once they turn one. My other two boys were much easier to wean, I just gradually cut out a feeding every once in a while until by the time they were one, I was only nursing them at bedtime or done completely.

Uriah is a little more attached though. He does not take a binky and I have become his replacement. He likes to wiggle around during breastfeeding sessions, often trying to watch what his brothers (or anyone else, if I am in public) are doing while nursing. This is annoying, uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing. I think if you in public and your one-year-old walks up and starts pulling and shaking at your shirt, that’s when you know it’s time to start cutting back!

But the worst is that I have let him develop bad bedtime behaviors. Even though Uriah is one, I have still been feeding him once in the night. I actually blame Uriah himself for this problem. He was such an easy-going baby that I hated to let him cry for anything. Not that I was happy to let my other two cry, but I kept in mind that sometimes it was good for them so they could learn to sleep through the night. I am also a much better mommy when I get a full night’s sleep! Anyway, so here I am with a one-year-old who I am just now training to sleep through the night and to only nurse at bedtime. Better late than never, right?!

Well, it sounds like Uriah just finished fussing for this small round, which means I better try to catch a few more hours of sleep. By the end of the week, I hope to report that, after an entire year of broken up slumber, we are both getting a full night’s rest!

First Birthday

My little Uriah turned one last week. It was a bitter-sweet moment for me. This past year has gone by faster than any year of my life! I remember every detail about the day he was born. It seems like he was a tiny baby for such a short time. He grew so fast in this year that I felt I couldn’t blink, for fear of missing things. It seems like just a few weeks ago he was so small he could barely keep his eyes open. Now here he is, one year old, walking, laughing, and playing like his brothers!

If it were possible, would I turn him back into a newborn again? NOT A CHANCE! As much as this was a year of fawning over his cute tiny features, it was also a year of trying to make sure those features didn’t cry. I was a crazy woman this year (even more than normal, that is!). I was running from one child to the next all the time. I would just get myself settled to nurse the baby when Graham would suddenly need help going potty or Rubin would need a drink before he died of thirst. I became an expert on crisis management while simultaneously nursing an infant! There were countless sleepless nights where I was up four, five, and even six times with the baby. Looking back, I know why this year went so fast – I was a zombie the whole time!

Don’t get me wrong, I love babies. The knowledge that I will, one day, have another comforts me when I think of Uriah turning into a toddler. But I am glad that he is now past some of the most physically exhausting stages. The year between ages one and two has been my favorite with my other boys and I am looking forward to this time with Uriah! Happy birthday little man!